Where Else Would You Go?

 Recently I've had the pleasure of welcoming back to the school a few individuals who had studied at Ambrose Academy in the past. Returning after seven years are a father, daughter and son – now with the addition of the youngest son. One student trained as a child over twenty year ago and now has three children of his own. At that time, both he and his father attended classes. Another trained as an adult about nine years ago but, due to the demands of a busy life, had to take a hiatus. Yet another trained in the kid’s class during grammar school and informed me, during a recent visit, that she will join the adult class this summer after graduating high school. This is an uplifting phenomenon and it has happened many times in the past. It is gratifying to realize that Wing Chun Do, and more specifically Ambrose Academy, has made such an impression on them that they, as one put it, “always knew that, when I had the time, I would come back and train again.” Time and time again returning students remark, “Where else would I go?”

We also have many families who have been with us for eight, ten, fifteen, and even twenty years. When queried, the reasons given are many. Some mention the scientific nature of Wing Chun Do. Others are impressed with the well structured curriculum. All tend to credit the high quality of instruction characteristic of our school. But above all, I am told that it is the camaraderie – the warm family atmosphere – that touched them so deeply. Many students assert that Ambrose Academy is their escape; an oasis of positive energy in their hectic lives. Our school is a place where all can come to escape the stressful effects of their busy lives; a place where they can relax and regroup. In a way, this is what Sijo DeMile terms “indirect meditation” – a relaxing and therapeutic activity. When you walk in our door, you engage in activities that demand your complete attention, allowing you to detach from the worries, stress and distractions of the outside world. You are free to be yourself without being judged. Here you experience a feeling of personal growth and evolution. The only ego you have to contend with is your own and it is being nurtured to become strong, independent, confident and uniquely you. At Ambrose Academy we have four separate age-specific curricula, formulated to draw out and develop the best in each individual, regardless of age.

Over our twenty-five years of operation we have developed the ability to recognize the unique qualities and attributes in each student and help bring them to fruition. This is our mission and, what makes Ambrose Academy, as Ms. Liz puts it, a true “community” center. 

Do You Spar?

This FAQ is difficult to answer. It first requires a clear definition of the term "to spar".

My Webster's Collegiate Dictionary copyright 1941 says: 1. "To fight or strike with the feet or spurs as cocks do. 2. To box with the fists, esp. scientifically - n. An offensive or defensive movement in sparring; a boxing match." My Random House Dictionary copyright 1967 adds: 1. "To make the motions of attack and defense with the arms or fists, esp. as part of training. 1. To box, esp. with light blows."

Under these general interpretations, I guess we do spar.  However, my perception of the term has always been one in which the combatants move about, feeling each other out - experimenting with techniques and concepts.  This implies the training of blows and allowing interplay.  Under this interpretation, we do not spar.  After all, in the reality of the street one cannot afford to "trade blows", as a well-landed blow from a larger individual might result in serious injury or even death.  This is why I have removed from the curriculum all references to sparring. I have replaced them with the term "applied self-defense". This term more accurately describes the Wing Chun Do approach to practical application of technique.  It reflects our concepts of "total attack theory" (from lin sil die dar), as well as "full attack mode" (third rule of the closed bi jong). In Wing Chun Do, our method is to shut the opponent down completely, controlling his offensive and defensive capabilities  and to strike - non-stop - until the threat is neutralized.  If this is your definition of sparring, then I guess the answer is, "Yes, we spar."

Sijo James DeMile The Teacher, Offers a Golden Nugget

Check out the smile on my face, when realization hits.

The Teacher

Sometimes the most profound learning experiences can come without a warning or a word.

It was July of 2009, Rogue River, Oregon. I was attending a week-long camp for new instructor candidates, taking place at Sijo’s beautiful thirteen acre spread. It was late morning and already the sun was baking the training room in Sijo DeMile’s workshop. The large garage door was wide open and the sunlight was streaming in. The video camera was running, recording the day’s training.

Sijo was demonstrating the fundamentals of slap-sparring to the eager newbies. He called upon me to aid in the demonstration, which is always gratifying (though even more so this day). During the demonstration, which I detected a variation in hand position which differed from my previous understanding of the technique. Following this portion of the demo, as the students were practicing the assigned elements, I queried Sijo about the change. I formed the new hand position, saying "I noticed that you're doing this now." "Yeah," he replied. I then posed the old position, asking, "What happened to this?" His reply - "I don't do that so much anymore."  That was all!  I was momentarily confused. (Little did I know what a significant revelation this would prove to be in the development of my understanding of slap-sparring.) He immediately went on to demonstrate the next element, again using me as his demo partner. As he employed the technique, I intently studied his hand position. Then, I felt something happen that I had not before experienced in this context. During a simple hand transition, he had completely undermined my base. I looked up from our hands to his face and found him looking me in the eye, with a subtle but knowing smile on his face that said, "Now do you get it?"  And I did!

When I returned home and began reviewing the videos of the week's events, I witnessed that precious moment of understanding, preserved for posterity. I've watched it often and each viewing reminds me how lucky I am to have had such a masterful teacher.  Thanks Sijo!

This is a diversion from my usual subject matter but it’s timely. You know.

How would you feel if you had someone who always has your back? Imagine knowing that when circumstances seem insurmountable there is always someone who cares enough to encourage you to keep going. If someone were to speak negatively about you, you have a true advocate.  If someone were to act against you, you have a defender. When you are sick or injured, someone is there to comfort and care for you, with compassion and without reservation. When you are feeling down, someone is there to empathize and bolster you. When you are wronged and angry, there is someone who will take up arms in the fight and never leave your side. When you are joyful and exuberant there is someone who can truly share it with you on the deepest level – someone with whom you can share your most intimate thoughts and feelings. Imagine having someone working, tirelessly, shoulder to shoulder with you, to build a rich and meaningful life.  Imagine having a life-mate who has shared in building a rich relationship with your child, and helped to build rewarding relationships with those closest to you.  All of these manifest in one beloved person – a soul-mate, if you will. Best of all, imagine knowing that all of this will be yours as long as you both shall live. That’s what marriage means to me.

Happy Anniversary my love!

James DeMile Reconnects with his Senior, Jesse Glover

With the recent passing of Jesse Glover, I wanted to convey the story on how I first met 

this fine man.  It felt like I was witnessing an historic moment. 

Jesse Glover, Rocco Ambrose, James DeMile at
a Jujitsu America Convention

I Was There

It was 1993 – Seattle Washington. I was in town, training with Sijo DeMile updating my skills as an instructor. At breakfast I asked Sijo what was on the agenda for the day. He told me that we had to go down to the auction house to pick up some audio/video equipment for the school. It turns out that he had previously bid on a movie projection unit and sound system and won the bidding. He planned to start hosting ‘movie nights’ at the Shoreline Wing Chun Do club. When we arrived at the auction house, we made our way to the pick-up area. While surveying the area for the proper lot number there was a man ahead of us standing with his back to us. He was an African-American gentleman – fiftyish, graying beard, wearing a dark p-coat and a black skull cap. He too, was there to make a pick up and was distracted, looking for his lot number. When Sijo noticed the man, he nudged me with his elbow and said, “Watch this!” I watched with curiosity as he walked up behind the man without calling attention to himself. My heart jumped as I saw him lean in toward the man’s ear and say in a rough, clear tone, “God you’re ugly!” The man wheeled around with a perturbed look on his face which instantly turned to amusement. “Jim!” he said. The two men had not spoken in over twenty years. Sijo introduced us and that’s how I first met Jesse Glover.

A True Friend Needs No Thanks

A True Friend Needs No Thanks.

A couple of examples:

My son Dave has a friend named Brandon. A year younger than Dave, Brandon is like a son to Elizabeth and me, as he grew up at the gung fu school right along with Dave. Friends through high school, they roomed together at U of M and are as close as brothers.

Dave now resides in Chicago and is enrolled in the Master’s program at the U of C. Brandon still lives here in Detroit. Recently in a conversation, Dave told me that he was responsible for organizing a social event for his whole department at grad-school. Brandon called him to shoot the breeze and Dave informed him about all the preparations he would have to accomplish to facilitate the event. Brandon drove all the way to Chicago to see Dave and help him with the arrangements for the party. He stayed the night and the next morning, when Dave had to go to work, drove home to resume his responsibilities.

Recently I had to undergo a non-emergency but never-the-less serious surgical procedure. I knew that it would put me out of commission for an unpredictable period of time, taking me away from Ambrose Academy and our students. I worried about staffing and the prospect of Ms. Liz being left with a low teacher to student ratio. I contemplated closing classes, a practice that I really try to avoid. My concern was unfounded as, when I called Sifu Jeff, (anyone who attends our school is aware of our history) his response was, "Keep me informed and whatever needs to be done, we've got it covered." referring to himself and Sihing Paul, our other truly indispensable instructor-in-training. 

My procedure was on Thursday, so there was no chance I could attend class on Saturday, testing day. At noon on Saturday, when I called the school, Sifu Jeff gave me a progress report on the day’s testing which put me completely at ease. Later, when Elizabeth came home, she related how busy the school had been – the large number of students, the parents, and the number of kids that stayed during their parent’s training/testing. When I reflexively apologized, she said that there was no need and remarked that it might have been overwhelming, but that the day went fine because, as she put it, “I had my Jeffy.”

How gratifying and reassuring – how lucky one is, in life – to have even one true friend you can count on without reservation.

How does one say “thank you” to a friend? When I offer my meager attempt, it is immediately made clear that no thanks are necessary. But I’ll say it anyway, “Thanks you guys!”

Jeff, Paul, Curtis, Me, Brad, Wes, and Dan

The Merits of Mentoring

I've said it before and I’ll say it again. I really appreciate advanced students coming back to basics classes in order to help newer students. Recently, one such individual remarked in the presence of the new student he had been mentoring, “People helped me when I was new and I just want to give back.” He went on to explain that helping others also served to jog his memory and reinforce his own knowledge.

Indeed, mentoring produces many benefits – some obvious, some not so obvious.

Mentoring helps you to develop “the eye”. In other words you develop the ability to diagnose problems and weaknesses in the development of new students. This benefits you as well as the new students, as it increases your ability to recognize and resolve your own problem areas. Increasing your problem solving skills also promotes brain plasticity.

A good mentor will always confirm his coaching by checking with the instructor. This confirms the accuracy of his memory, decreases false memory and dispels misconceptions. It also encourages the student to do the same. In addition, confirmation from the instructor fosters trust in the mentor on the part of both the student and the instructor.

Mentoring others increases confidence in your own knowledge and abilities and inspires and underclassmen to, in their time, also give back. It also brings emotional rewards as you observe the positive growth of the student.

In the end mentoring helps keeps everyone on the same page, strengthens the entire school, and brings great satisfaction to Sibok.